"Feeling the air"

Hey what is up people?!

AAAYY THE 28TH OF NOVEMBAAAH

I've been kind of enjoying life hahahahah no I mean just a little.
(It's actually enjoying a game)

And I'm doing a project. My own, not worth talking about. BUT it envolves possibly helping other people.
Why, "possibly"? Because I'm not sure if I'm actually helping or not, lol.
???
But hopefully, yeah, some people will come and thank me maybe.
Just enjoy my work okay??

I have nothing else to do I feel like.

HEY I JUST MET YOU
AND THIS IS CRAZY
BUT I'M TRYING TO HELP
SO THANK ME MAYBE

Sorry old joke lmao I can tell you're not enjoying it but it just came outta my mind
And I just had to bc why not lol

You're welcome btw if you know what it is and you feel grateful for it and stuff yeah well just trying to help people and do something at least.
It's not important I swear no need to talk about it. It is important for some people though.
I just kinda went and stamped all of the work with my 8 branding.

Dude IDK I just happen to be born on the 28th of December and I just love the number 8 so much ok?
Can't you just relate? "Nah mate I can't."

You wanna know what I like doing recently?
Doing Evan Hansen impressions.
With like the way he talks, hand motions (my favorite), and umm ummm UmMMm....

Do you also know that I talk to myself?
Sure if you don't do that, you'd think it's a crazy thing. I mean lol a lot of times I'd just imagine looking from other people's perspective catching myself talking to myself in my room alone and I'm sure that looks crazy.
But from my own perspective, though. I just thought of it as a way to improve my acting and communicating skills I guess? For communicating skills, it doesn't really work though since I know nobody else is around, but I could just  i m a g i n e  there are people around me, well I don't, because it'll be too unrealistic thinking everyone else around me is just like me, you know like, understands my sense of humor or whatever.

And in real life I'd be like, quiet, silent all the time because I couldn't find a good topic to talk about like small talks or whatever I just thought those are pretty useless??
I just talk to people acting like I'm cool and chill and confident whenever it's really that important to me trying not to slip a bit of awkwardness, cause then if I did I'd just die inside because now tHEY REALLY KNOW.
hecc.

With all like really popular and talkative people around me sometimes I just want to talk to them and be friends but hahahahahhahahah would they even listen MAN I don't speak as loud as they do.
And again what the heck am I gonna talk with them about??? COME UP WITH WHAT TOPIC???
I'm sorry I have high standards for topics I tALK ABOUT MEMES and movie references mkay would they even understand?? I blurt out memes and jokes in my head, wdym do that in real life??
If I do, then might as well just laugh at my own jokes lol yeah I do that. And I'll be the only one laughing, the only one that finds that funny.

Back with Evan Hansen impressions...
Evan's personality is quite new to me tbh, I was just amazed when Ben pulled that off for the first time in my eyes. I guess I've just never seen or meet anyone with that kind of personality and WOW BOI I like it.
So lately I've been trying to bring his personality into my day to day life I MEAN ONLY WHEN I TALK TO MYSELF uhhm...

The reason is, I wanna be a good actor so I keep trying to be as much as him as possible for example when I tell my stories... to nobody...... I was talking to myself. In english to also improve my english.
I'm also impressed by how he could talk that fast so I've been trying that as well.
Like what the heck Ben Platt are you even human?
I failed a thousand times trying to talk fast, ended up messing up the words, BUT I WILL KEEP TRYING.
Repeating the sentences, maybe lines from a movie so that I can nail it.

I have a slow brain as well but I'm not giving up my dreams because of that.

So yeah as Evan Hansen, telling my own stories, to nobody but myself in my room.
Complete with his hand motions, the busy hands, those just keep moving, touching fingers, scratching the nose, rubbing the hip, pulling up pants, feeling the air. I'm proud of this one.
Sometimes, I randomly find quotable comments, like a long one, online, and try to think like that's one of my lines and then I try remembering it and then I act it out.
The acting isn't bad I'd say.

OOOKAY that is it then, my story, and stuff.
So you see now that I am a complete mess. Anxiety, awkwardness, BUT it's all okay because I'm trying to be better, especially with my shyness that I'm really ashamed of, I'm serious.
Thank you for reading, letting me share my stories with you.
Why don't you share your story down in the comment section? I'll read it!

Alright now goodbye! :)

-Kam will be a good actor, promise