???
Soz mates I don't know what happened but what's up? Is it ze sky or ze ceiling? YOU DECIDE. *epic sfx*
First off, Marvel, give us Infinity War trailer, like, NOW. I'm being patient, there's still Thor: Ragnarok, and Black Panther. BUT THINK of the people who couldn't afford going to D23 Expo or SDCC, and those who are living too far away, for example, ME.
Think of the children.
LMAO. I mean honestly, I've only seen the leaked ones, that have kind of annoying screams from the audiences, that at the same time boosting my feels and excitement but pl0x I can't hear what they're saying. And that one that shows someone standing up in front of the camera. Uncool angles... etc.
SO PLEASE, this is almost like that time I was waiting for Civil War trailer, I was impatient. I am right now but not for long.
I NEED all the feels you've given me up to this moment to give me more feels of the future GOSH I don't know what I'm saying but LIKE MAKE ME SHOOK when you release the teaser/trailer
PUT IT UP ONLINE, HD.
And then make another teaser for later this year and two trailers for next year. See I'm making plans for the trailer releases just like you are. Kevin are you reading this pls hire me.
But hol up, Civil War was so worth it and gave me feels and way much more excitement after the wait.
Then... IDK, I'll be patient.
But hire me Kevin pls mini cameo for a future MCU movie pls maybe? At least? I'M A GOOD ACTOR. As in the "actor" more gender neutral don't attac me for asking a for a preferred pronoun uhhhh
I'm jk there's no way you can misgender me I'm cool it was all a joke.
I mean from when I said "As in" until the last sentence yeah it was a joke BUT I wasn't joking by saying KEVIN FEIGE PLS HIRE ME I was being kinda serious I need a job, I mean, I don't exactly see acting as a job I just enjoy doing it a lot so yeah. Even if you won't pay me I'm good I just wanna act and be worth of something and have a purpose in life because right now other than the other bullcraps I really have no purpose in this world for this world.
I don't know how to feel about what I'm thinking right now... let me tell you, I think about doing another 128th-like special post for directories and stuff after I got to another 128th after that one.
Goodness I can't explain things.
Basically, 128+128 equals 2-
It's the same as 128x2=256 SO I was thinking of doing the same thing for my 256th post, do Y'ALL GET IT now? :)
Like, another Directory 128.
For when it's the 256th post. But instead of naming it Directory 256, I'll call it Directory 128 Jr. Sounds cool?
Because there's only gonna be 128 posts linked from there starting from 129 to 256, that's why calling it Directory 256 would be misleading since it won't have the entire 256 posts.
Just thought I'll do it again after I've done another 128 posts.
But I thought about it again oh hecc wouldn't that be a bad idea cause that crap was tiring mate.
But not really cause it took me long enough to even get to 128th so basically it's worth it! WAIT is it? Nobody reads my posts anyway, so IS IT REALLY? :(
But I don't think the amount of reads/views on my posts really matter, I'm just having a lot of fun and things off of my chest after I publish each one, so I should do it again anyway!
I said "but" at the beginning too much LMAO. Yeah, well that is if I remember about this or maybe not, either remind me or forgive me for forgetting. (I don't promise any of this okay)
So as I was finishing up my UUGE project, you know, Directory 128...
I was on this one post and I saw the screenshot on there, and I was like "whoooa, might be fun to find out again."
It was the Google result of 'kamfff'.
And when I checked my blog was still the 3rd result, and my profile is the 2nd result.
I kinda cringed a bit though, you don't wanna know the reason.
Oh and I was using VPN so I wasn't really "here" and it wasn't supposed to be my "regular result" so IDK where my blog might be from here.
Also I stumbled upon the RDJ NOTICED ME post and whew, that was the first ever time I got noticed by a big celebrity wasn't it?
Well guess what, my favorite fan is Mark Hamill, either him or his social media manager just keeps liking and replying to me on Twitter I am very humbled. So many times.
One day I want to meet them both, seriously, and probably tell them stories of like "Ohhh back then I was so shocked when you noticed me online! Yeah I was like such a big fan, I still am, but back then I jumped around my room feeling so happy with what happened." And they would have no idea what or when I'm talking about and be like "Ohh really? Ohhhh... I don't remember... ohhhhhhhh..."
No offense to anyone that's just how I imagine it's gonna be.
Who's next?
AHH NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT INFINITY WAR AGAIN.
Like, I really want it, so bad right now. Just give me the trailer when can I see it??
I feel so much things and I'm very sure when I watch the actual movie in a cinema (my favorite place) I'd feel a lot more. I'd scream inaudibly and cry and-
I can imagine myself shaking, as the Marvel title comes up with a glorious theme showing big heroes that have been introduced before in rich colors that resembles the iNFinTy StONEs and every second I become more and more vulnerable to feels as the screen gets darker and the first scene starts I'm shaking so much and I can't even, I am unable to even, CONTROL MYSELF!!!!!!!!!
BUT HOLD UP that's the movie, I'd still feel at least eight tenth the amount of feels when I watch the trailer.
A TRAILER, IS LESS THAN 5 MINUTES LONG.
A TEASER, IS LESS THAN 2 MINUTES LONG.
I AM STILL ABLE TO LOSE CONTROL AND GAIN FEELS JUST 4 SECONDS INTO IT.
OR WAIT, I'D STILL LOSE CONTROL FINDING OUT THE TEASER/TRAILER IS UP.
THEN AFTER THAT I'LL GO ON YOUTUBE AND WHEN I SEE THE THUMBNAIL I'D STILL LOSE CONTROL.
Hecc.
Bearded Steve Rogers tho.
Blonde Natasha.
Bucky.
StUCkY.
Scarletvision. ReAL?!?!
PETERSENSE I mean SPIDERSENSE.
THE ENTIRE MOVIE AND THE MOVIES BUILDING UP TO THAT.
H E C C
One more thing.
I saw The Amazing Tour Is Not On Fire, TATINOF, and Dan and Phil's story of it.
I'm super late, obviously, always. And it's pretty obvious that I saw it online instead of in a theater LIKE BEING INSIDE DOLBY THEATER SUCH A DREAM OH BOI.
There's no way I can see it live, it's over. The tour is, in case you misinterpreted that.
LOOK, Dan and Phil was on tour, they had a purpose, they were on stage, entertaining people.
Now, me, I want to be like that. It's all I want. Let me explain.
I was once on stage, actually performing. But that was just once until, UHUH the same story, I bailed out of fear, dumb move, I REALIZED. I missed it.
You know what it's like to act? It's having a purpose, whether on set or on stage. It's the process that I miss so much, being tired, stressed out, nervous, scared of making mistakes, but it was also exciting, motivating, and fun. All of those, for a great purpose of entertaining people, where, at the end will be worth it if you give all you've got. You'll receive back so much better things after you gave all your time and energy for it, such like happiness.
What happened after I did that play was... such a huge memory.
I cried :') I was sooo happy. That's like, the happiest I've been in my entire life.
From there on I am 100% sure that acting is I what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to feel that again. That much happiness.
I want to feel all of those again.
I want to have a purpose, a goal to accomplish, because THAT is validating. I want to go through the complicated process, even if it means to have mixed feelings along the way just to get back a happy Kam at the end. A genuinely happy Kam.
Six month depressed, forgetting how it was like to be happy after accomplishing a goal.
I want it back. I need it back.
Because I love acting, so much. I love doing it for a lot of reasons I can't explain. Anything that involves acting, like doing a theatrical play, shooting a movie, even doing sketches uploading them on YouTube, I want to do it because I love it.
Just basically being on stage or on a movie set, or even in a cinema, just watching a movie, makes me happy.
Can I be honest though, kinda embarrassing, I always walk out a cinema trying to hold back my smile. I don't know, man, it makes me smile. And my room is my set, I act out a lot of things. Either to practice or gain a little satisfaction. Think I said it, acting gives me satisfaction.
Ohh acting, how much I love you :)
But WAIT, if I really want it back then that means... I have to do it, I have to start doing it.
PROGRESS!
Uhh I think I'm done.
I'm leaving now I have to regain control after I lost it while spilling out things that give me mixed feelings.
So my final message is, do what you love, because it gives you satisfaction and happiness. The more you do it, the more you'll be in a positive state, which results in a positive mind. And to go through life, that's what you need. Even if it's hard, don't give up to start doing what you love because of the pressures around you. People who gave up very early have sad faces, you shouldn't be the one that has it.
Have a great day, enjoy your life.
Goodbye!
-Kam loves acting
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